Love on the Spectrum’s Pari Kim Loses Mom Esme to Cancer

Pari Kim is navigating one of the hardest moments of her young life. The Love on the Spectrum star, 24, announced Wednesday that her mother Esme has passed away after a battle with cancer — a loss made even more devastating because Pari has now lost both of her parents before the age of 25.

“Grief and tragedy is not easy and feels very unpleasant,” Pari wrote on Instagram Wednesday night. “It feels like everything is becoming a train wreck and that there are two sides of yourself constantly fighting: the sad, lonely girl missing what was cruelly and unfairly taken from her at such a young age and the girl who has to stay strong and positive because she can’t give up if she wants to keep moving forward.”

Trains have always been central to Pari’s identity — her passion for railroads and public transit was one of the most memorable things about her time on the Netflix reality series — and she leaned into that language to describe her grief in a way that felt deeply, unmistakably her.

“Not every train track is a smooth ride,” she continued. “Sometimes the going gets rough and you need other trains to help you pull through and carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s difficult to keep chugging along when your guardian locomotive reaches the end of the line but you have to keep going somehow even without her.”

In a comment on the post, she added a simple “F*** cancer button,” asking followers to like it if they agreed — a small, raw moment that said everything.

A Loss She Never Expected to Face So Soon

On her Instagram Story, Pari spoke directly to anyone still lucky enough to have their parents around. “If you still have parents and they are loving and caring to you, please be grateful and know how lucky you are,” she wrote. “Time is precious and I didn’t expect to lose both of them so young.”

Esme was 61. Viewers of Love on the Spectrum season three saw how close the two were — Pari lived with her mom while filming, and Esme’s cancer diagnosis was part of their story. “I’m very close with her. I love her very much,” Pari said of her mother on the show.

Pari’s father, Henry, died in 2020 at age 55. His death was by suicide. The weight of losing both parents — in such different and painful ways — is something no 24-year-old should have to carry.

Her LOTS Family Shows Up

The outpouring from Pari’s Love on the Spectrum castmates was immediate and genuine. Madison Marilla wrote, “Soooooooo sorry to hear about the loss of your mom!! She fought very hard!! Your LOTS family is always here for you!!” Abbey Romeo said she wanted to give Pari a big hug. Dani Bowman kept it simple and sincere: “I’m always here for you.”

And then there was Tina Zhu Xi Caruso — the woman Pari fell for on the show and only recently parted ways with. Despite the breakup, Tina showed up. “Thinking of you a lot,” she wrote. “Know there’s so many people who love you.”

That split, announced on April 24, was handled with the same warmth and self-awareness Pari brings to everything. “A few people have been asking if me and Tina are still together,” she wrote on her Instagram Story at the time. “I just wanted to be honest and let you all know that we are just friends now, two trains on different tracks, but I wish her the best and bright T-riffic future!” In a follow-up, she added: “No matter what media and comments may come out about this news, just know I spoke from my heart and handled this with grace. I hope everyone continues to lead with kindness and compassion. I have spoken my truth.”

That was just weeks ago. And now this.

Pari Kim has faced more loss in a few years than most people face in a lifetime. But if her words this week say anything about who she is, it’s that she intends to keep going — even when the tracks ahead feel impossibly hard to travel alone.