Taylor Frankie Paul Opens Up About Why She Stayed With Dakota Mortensen

Taylor Frankie Paul has a lot she wants the world to understand — and she’s not going quiet to make anyone more comfortable.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star, 31, shared a raw and emotional Instagram post Thursday night laying out, in her own words, exactly why it took her so long to walk away from her relationship with ex Dakota Mortensen, 33. Never mentioning him by name but leaving little doubt who she was talking about, Paul said postpartum depression, fear, and what she describes as relentless psychological manipulation kept her trapped far longer than she ever should have been.

“It’s so sad because nobody wants to be like this. I hate that I am no longer myself. I hate that I stayed for so long,” she wrote. “I blame nobody more than my own damn self, because how did I allow this for my kids and myself for so long? I’m sorry to THEM.”

She was quick to acknowledge her own culpability — she’s already done that in court — but her post was about something harder to quantify: the psychological grip of a relationship she says slowly dismantled her sense of reality.

“I’ve been in survival mode for years with miscarriages, pregnancy, postpartum, and horrible betrayal with so many lies told, which added to the trauma on my body physically, hormonally, mentally, and emotionally,” Paul wrote. She said she was too scared to ask for help or even speak about what she was going through, because she was being reminded she was already on probation and would be the one in trouble. “Imagine being pregnant and postpartum healing internally and too scared to ask for help,” she wrote, “and he knew he had that advantage, which gave him MORE access to do whatever, knowing I’d remain silent.”

“You Eventually Feel Insane”

What she describes next is the slow erosion that anyone who’s been in a psychologically controlling relationship will recognize — even if they’ve never had a name for it.

“What people aren’t understanding is you don’t even realize you’re in it and what’s happening psychologically for a long time,” she explained. “You solely believe you’re the only insane one because they twist everything that you eventually feel insane. Then to find out you weren’t insane, in fact, I was right about it all, which is gut-wrenching to learn.”

She described the cycle of snapping, then being consoled — a pattern she now recognizes as deliberate. “It’s a human response to eventually snap and then getting stuck in the cycle because they console you, saying, ‘It’s okay you’re acting out, I’m still here for you and love you still,’ which then you’re feeling bad as they are aware they are gaslighting you. Even after learning a lot of that, you STILL want to be held by that same person. It’s twisted, I know.”

And to the inevitable question of why she didn’t leave sooner, Paul had a pointed answer: look at what happened when she did.

She alleges that after she finally said no more, Mortensen “love bombed, then manipulated, threatened [and] physically hurt” her, had police and CPS called on her, publicly humiliated her, turned friends against her, and dragged her into court over custody of their 2-year-old son, Ever. “That’s the difference between us,” she wrote. “I didn’t want to ruin his life, call cops on him, take his child away, or claim complete innocence.”

She also drew a line between how she loved and how she believes she was loved back. “The difference between us, my love was real for him without gaining anything, and people know that. Not sure it was the same in return. I cried the whole way home after court, allowing the pain through. I wish he had been the person he pretended to be.”

Where Things Stand Now

The post comes after months of headlines that have upended Paul’s life and career. In March, production on Mormon Wives Season 5 temporarily paused following investigations into multiple alleged domestic violence incidents involving the pair. Around the same time, ABC pulled Paul’s planned season of The Bachelorette after footage leaked from a 2023 incident showing her throwing a chair at Mortensen in front of her now 8-year-old daughter, Indy. Paul pleaded guilty to third-degree felony aggravated assault as part of a plea deal and remains on probation.

Prosecutors ultimately declined to press charges against her in the more recent investigations — news that moved Paul to tears. “Cried when I got the call,” she wrote on Instagram at the time. “THANK YOU to those that have stood with me.”

As of now, Mortensen holds temporary custody of Ever, and Paul has up to 12 hours of supervised visitation per week under a Utah judge’s ruling. The custody arrangement is set to be revisited at a hearing on June 1. Paul also shares daughter Indy, 8, and son Ocean, 5, with ex-husband Tate Paul.

In April, Mortensen issued a statement of his own: “I regret not stepping away from the difficult cycle sooner. I’m not perfect, and I take accountability for my part. I’m sincerely sorry to those I’ve hurt. At the same time, I don’t agree with how this situation has been portrayed publicly.”

As for whether her Bachelorette season might still air someday, Disney’s unscripted and reality TV chief Rob Mills told Variety in April that “everything with that is one day at a time.”

Paul also used the post to address online friction with SLOMW co-star Mikayla Matthews, who she says came after her during an already brutal stretch. An apology is not on the table. “She can go kick rocks instead of kicking me right now,” Paul wrote.

In a separate post earlier this week, Paul had admitted her anxiety was “10/10” walking into her kids’ school, bracing for judgment from other parents — only to be met with hugs, phone numbers, and “Girl, we feel you.” She said it reminded her that what people assume about her online doesn’t define who she actually is.

She’s been told to log off. She’s not interested. “I’ll continue sharing on social media, showing how ugly healing can truly be,” she wrote. “This is my way and I choose to share it.”